


Cigarettes & Wine

by laneywrites



Category: The 1975 (Band)
Genre: Drama, Drama & Romance, Drinking, F/M, Light Angst, One Shot, Romance, Smoking, Unrequited Crush, love that tune, wrote this based on the song 102
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-07
Updated: 2016-11-07
Packaged: 2018-08-29 15:25:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,358
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8495149
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/laneywrites/pseuds/laneywrites
Summary: In which Matty knows better, but can't seem to resist.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by the song “102” by Matt Healy. You’re welcome in advance for the most endearing yet heartbreaking 3 minutes and 55 seconds of your life.

Everything went to shit the moment I saw her pyjamas.

Because even after Kat invited me inside her flat, pointed to my full wineglass already on the coffee table, and promptly began to moan about her dickhead of a boyfriend, I could hardly pay attention to anything other than her tiny checked pyjama shorts and  _my_ jumper—she'd been cold when I walked her home the other night. Yet another mess her shit boyfriend had left me to clean up.

I took my usual spot in her cushy armchair and set the box of fags on the table. Cuddling up in a yellow blanket, Kat settled onto her couch. Her hair was freshly washed, and a few loose, chestnut curls framed her face. They looked so soft. I gulped down a mouthful of wine.

“It’s always the same fucking thing with him, Matt,” Kat grumbled some thirty minutes later. Her lids drooped as though she might nod off between smokes. She annihilated yet another fag and reached for the box again. There were only four left, and I wondered if I should've bought another box. "You'd think he'd get keen after a while, but he doesn't."

Shifting in the armchair, I tightened my smile and glanced down at my wineglass. I couldn't remember if this was my second or third.

“I don’t know why I keep expecting him to change.” Her mouth sloped down in a frown. She pulled her knees up to her chest, hugging them close like a child would a teddy bear, and took a drag.

I forced myself to ask what I've asked too many times before: “Then why do you?”

Kat rolled the fag between her fingers and sighed. “I dunno. We talk about it and he just doesn’t—I don’t know.” Her pouty lips pursed while drawing in a long breath, then she shrugged. “But I love him, y’know? Besides, he said he was gonna do something to make it up to me this weekend.”

I downed my last bit of wine to hold off a groan. It was already half one in the morning and my shift started in less than five hours, but I needed a refill—badly.

“I reckon it’ll be good, though,” she mused, and that soft smile bowed her pink mouth again.

“Oh yeah?” I chuckled. “So _that’s_ how this dickhead got outta chatting up another bird in front of you?”

Her laugh was carefree, and she shot me a grin that made my stomach bottom out.

I reached for the wine bottle. “What?”

"Matty." She shook her head, something like endearing amusement still stretching her lips.

“Look all I'm saying is, if he does that shit with you there, imagine what he does when you’re not. Prick." I swigged down the last bit and ran the back of my sleeved hand over my mouth. "Fuckin' dump his arse already, move on.”

She snorted and combed her fingers through her dark curls, and I tried not to imagine doing the same. “Like you’re any better, Matt.”

“’Course I am!”

She giggled, “I’m serious, he's—”

“And I'm not?“ I fought to maintain my smile.

Still amused, she sent me pointed look. “C’mon, Matty. He’s never actually cheated on me, you know.” When I snorted, she added, “At least Reese can stay sober for more than one bloody day.”

Her words were a gunshot to my chest, heavy and painful. I prayed my face didn’t let on, but then her lighthearted smile faded. Her wide gaze fixed on mine as she realised the wound, and then her eyes fell closed, lids scrunching tightly. The air in this room thickened into haze I could easily choke on. I let my gaze wander while trying to ignore the hollow feeling beneath my ribs, and still she said nothing.

My throat working again, I focused on the empty bottle between us. “Yeah.”

Her mouth opened, but the apology in her blue eyes remained silent on her tongue.

I cleared my throat. "I’m gonna, erm…" I stood but my legs felt shaky—"get some water.“

“Sure,” she murmured, but I didn’t look back as I hurried into the kitchen.

My pulse was so loud in my ears that I needed to actually focus on not dropping the wineglass in the sink. After gulping down several mouthfuls of water, I swivelled around to find her eyes on me—even as I moved back to the armchair, her stare was unrelenting. She seemed oblivious to the ash about to fall from the end of her fag.

When I sank back into the armchair, her brows puckered like she couldn't figure out how to stop the bleeding. I rather hated that look.

“I should—I should head home," I blurted. "S'late. Work tomorrow.”

She nodded carefully, and for God's sake she still wouldn't look away. “Okay.”

Smacking my lips together, I shoved the lighter into my pocket and was halfway to the door before her voiced stopped me.

“Matt, wait!”

I turned so fast my vision spun. “Yeah?”

She was on her feet and started to pull the bottom of my jumper up over her head. The action revealed a strip of smooth skin on her stomach, but she quickly readjusted her own t-shirt before holding the crumpled fabric out towards me. “Here—thanks for letting me borrow it.”

"Right.” I rubbed the knitted fabric between my fingertips. “Could use this later, cheers.”

She crossed her arms over her chest. “Thanks for tonight, too. You’re always... there when I need you.”

Blinking hard, I strained another smile—this one nearly painful.

“You know I never mind." I shrugged and added as cheekily as I could manage, “Besides, I get wine out of it.”

She grinned too, wide enough to crinkle the corners of her eyes. “See you soon?”

I smiled back in spite of myself. “Sure.”

Then I headed back to my lonely apartment.

#

A week had passed since the night Kat returned my jumper—the same one I’d thrown on roughly three hours ago. Somehow, her fucking perfume still lingered on the neckline.

The clock on the wall read two minutes past one. My living room was dim, making it difficult to tell exactly how much wine was left in the bottle on my side table, and beside that sat my mobile.

I knew I shouldn’t ring her—we had an established routine in which the first step neverincluded me reaching out to her. The wise decision was to sleep off this wine. Staring at my mobile again, I licked my chapped lips. Before I could stop myself, it was already against my ear and ringing. Four rings in, she answered.

“Hey, Matty.” Her voice sounded warm, and I pictured her lying in bed with a sleepy smile.

“Hey,” I breathed.

After a moment, she asked, “So, what’s up?”

“Couldn’t sleep. Thought I’d see if you were still up.”

“You sound drunk.”

I ran my thumbnail over my forehead. “Nah, I’m okay.”

Kat was quiet. Then she said, “I’ve uh, got better wine for once. Wanna come over?”

Grinning at her question, I asked, “Who finally convinced you to buy something better than the shit you normally get?”

“Reese—said he wouldn’t drink what I already had.”

Although my chest panged once, I clicked my tongue. “Fuck me, he finally did something right!”

“Hey,” she whined, but I could hear her smile in it, “our date on Sunday went well too, in case you were wondering.”

“Shocker.”

“ _Matt—_ ”

“Kidding! I’m kidding.” I hoped I was the only one who heard my laugh fall flat.

“So… you comin' over?” she asked, and I could have sworn she sounded hopeful.

I gnawed my lip and considered heading off to bed instead, but my heart ached at just the thought of seeing her bright blue eyes. Against my better judgment, I answered, “Yeah, give me fifteen.”

After hanging up, I grabbed my wallet and lighter—I’d have to buy fags on the way. I heaved out a sigh and opened the door, wondering when I’d finally be able to just leave her alone and not look back.


End file.
